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jesus christ why am i not happy. new job and everything, and i still let things fucking get to me that shouldn't.
Alright, In an attmempt to continue to keep up with things. Here's 15 things that I was grateful for today/things that made me happy over the past few days.
1. A coworker said I was looking kind of Daniel Bryan today. He's probably in my top 5 of favorite wrestlers right now so that's a bonus. Although honestly, all beards should aspire to be his.
2. Someone actually complimented me on my patience when dealing with a customer who was taking a very, very long time to get out her change. The whole thing kind of... made me think of a lot of things. That's more good than bad, there, that's for sure.
3. The fact that my car's going into the shop monday instead of during the storm.
4. Finding out about said storm, which means I'll probably not be working saturday morning. Despite losing money, any day without stress from That place is a good day!
5. Finding out yesterday that we may have a second karaoke night at the bar we work at soon. Which means more money for me. I'll probably ask him if I can just run that one by myself just for the extra cash. I'm sure he'd be happy to hear me taking some initiave and I can most certainly do it. I fucking love the place, the staff there and the regulars are all great people. They treat us really well, too.
6. Getting to see my friend/co-worker Lyss today. She's awesome and like one of the few cashiers I'd hang with outside of work.
7. Having some REALLY good games of League of Legends in the past few days. Wukong and Sona seem to be my two best characters. Seeing my weaknesses and trying harder to improve on them has really helped out my game although I still die way too much. Also I'm starting to enjoy Mordekaiser, but we all know that is because mordekaiser es numero uno huehuehuehue.
8. Finding out that there's Regular Show action figures. As well as a new Earthworm Jim action figure. The fact that they made one without there even being a recent game out is well... groovy. Once I find out how much I'm spending on my car/dental crap, I may have to go back to toys r us to pick up a few things, by that I mean one of the regular show figures and see if they finally have an Ice King or a Marceline figure.
9. Finally figuring out what I'm actually cosplaying for Anime Boston. Even better when I realize that it's going to be the first con in awhile I haven't cosplayed a Homestuck. Although a certain character from the most recent updates is tempting as hell. I'm most likely cosplaying Kanji Tatsumi. Welp, time to hit the gym more frequently or get DDP yoga or something. I was also thinking Ezrael or someone from League. Though I would have to shave off my beard if I wanted to do either of those, although by May? I'll probably want to.
10. My new cellphone has been running, on average, 24+ hours without needing to be charged, even with slightly heavy use at some points. A very nice upgrade compared to my old phone, I'm glad I spent a little extra on it. Once i get a 32 gig micro SD card I won't even need to use my ipod anymore. All the games I have on my ipod I can get on droid. Except Jubeat, but that's more for an ipad.
11. Aside from a few moments of lows, I've been feeling really good. Mostly because I'm starting to realize the shit that's wrong with me? Yeah, I'm not alone in it. And even then, I'm okay.
12. Beating the last boss in Mogushan Vaults with my guild for the first time last night and tonight, blowing through the instance in about an hour's time. Which is really nice, considering how this thing started. I'm not the best tank in the world, but knowing I can do that and that I've played a part in success that I haven't been a part of in awhile? Feels good, man.
13.That I'm actually pushing myself to go to bed (semi) early. Or at least getting myself back on track. But more or less it was the fact that I simply said. "Nope, I'm done. Quitting while I'm ahead tonight." and logged off so I could do other things made me feel pretty good. Little things.
14. Knowing that I'm off for at least one of the days of the storm this weekend. Though I predict today at work will be crazy but you know what? That's okay. It'll go by fast.
15. People aren't even bothering me as much as they used to. I mean, yeah, people still suck in general... but day by day, more and more of the little things that bother me? They're going away, little by little.
16. Feeling more and more in control of myself. Feeling slightly more and more confident with each passing day. I know more than ever, I'll get through my troubles because I've been through a lot worse shit.
17. I'm debating more and more selling some of the stuff I don't use. I have a million DS games I don't play, a wii that's just collecting dust in my room, and several arcade sticks I haven't used. Though I'm pretty sure brawl with friends+ skype is a reason for me to keep the wii around. I could use the money.
18. The fact that I'm actually smiling while typing something like this. I actually seem to be keeping a genuine one up more nowadays. Things get fustrating now and again, but knowing I can pick up myself more without relying on others more and more ...
19. That I woke up, was healthy enough to go to work, and I have a job where the higher ups, from what I can tell, like me. I'm good at my job, despite what I think. And you know, as much as I hate it, and I hate some of the crap that goes down there.... my coworkers, aside from two or three... are decent people. and even then, they're not that bad. Good to see that I haven't lost sight of the good in people after all.
20. Another big thing is that I actually resisted buying those figures on impulse today. I basically told myself if I had to think about it, that it wasn't worth me picking up right now.
I may be feeling good about little things, but hey, progress is progress. The more I work at it, the harder I work at it, the stronger I'll become.
1. A coworker said I was looking kind of Daniel Bryan today. He's probably in my top 5 of favorite wrestlers right now so that's a bonus. Although honestly, all beards should aspire to be his.
2. Someone actually complimented me on my patience when dealing with a customer who was taking a very, very long time to get out her change. The whole thing kind of... made me think of a lot of things. That's more good than bad, there, that's for sure.
3. The fact that my car's going into the shop monday instead of during the storm.
4. Finding out about said storm, which means I'll probably not be working saturday morning. Despite losing money, any day without stress from That place is a good day!
5. Finding out yesterday that we may have a second karaoke night at the bar we work at soon. Which means more money for me. I'll probably ask him if I can just run that one by myself just for the extra cash. I'm sure he'd be happy to hear me taking some initiave and I can most certainly do it. I fucking love the place, the staff there and the regulars are all great people. They treat us really well, too.
6. Getting to see my friend/co-worker Lyss today. She's awesome and like one of the few cashiers I'd hang with outside of work.
7. Having some REALLY good games of League of Legends in the past few days. Wukong and Sona seem to be my two best characters. Seeing my weaknesses and trying harder to improve on them has really helped out my game although I still die way too much. Also I'm starting to enjoy Mordekaiser, but we all know that is because mordekaiser es numero uno huehuehuehue.
8. Finding out that there's Regular Show action figures. As well as a new Earthworm Jim action figure. The fact that they made one without there even being a recent game out is well... groovy. Once I find out how much I'm spending on my car/dental crap, I may have to go back to toys r us to pick up a few things, by that I mean one of the regular show figures and see if they finally have an Ice King or a Marceline figure.
9. Finally figuring out what I'm actually cosplaying for Anime Boston. Even better when I realize that it's going to be the first con in awhile I haven't cosplayed a Homestuck. Although a certain character from the most recent updates is tempting as hell. I'm most likely cosplaying Kanji Tatsumi. Welp, time to hit the gym more frequently or get DDP yoga or something. I was also thinking Ezrael or someone from League. Though I would have to shave off my beard if I wanted to do either of those, although by May? I'll probably want to.
10. My new cellphone has been running, on average, 24+ hours without needing to be charged, even with slightly heavy use at some points. A very nice upgrade compared to my old phone, I'm glad I spent a little extra on it. Once i get a 32 gig micro SD card I won't even need to use my ipod anymore. All the games I have on my ipod I can get on droid. Except Jubeat, but that's more for an ipad.
11. Aside from a few moments of lows, I've been feeling really good. Mostly because I'm starting to realize the shit that's wrong with me? Yeah, I'm not alone in it. And even then, I'm okay.
12. Beating the last boss in Mogushan Vaults with my guild for the first time last night and tonight, blowing through the instance in about an hour's time. Which is really nice, considering how this thing started. I'm not the best tank in the world, but knowing I can do that and that I've played a part in success that I haven't been a part of in awhile? Feels good, man.
13.That I'm actually pushing myself to go to bed (semi) early. Or at least getting myself back on track. But more or less it was the fact that I simply said. "Nope, I'm done. Quitting while I'm ahead tonight." and logged off so I could do other things made me feel pretty good. Little things.
14. Knowing that I'm off for at least one of the days of the storm this weekend. Though I predict today at work will be crazy but you know what? That's okay. It'll go by fast.
15. People aren't even bothering me as much as they used to. I mean, yeah, people still suck in general... but day by day, more and more of the little things that bother me? They're going away, little by little.
16. Feeling more and more in control of myself. Feeling slightly more and more confident with each passing day. I know more than ever, I'll get through my troubles because I've been through a lot worse shit.
17. I'm debating more and more selling some of the stuff I don't use. I have a million DS games I don't play, a wii that's just collecting dust in my room, and several arcade sticks I haven't used. Though I'm pretty sure brawl with friends+ skype is a reason for me to keep the wii around. I could use the money.
18. The fact that I'm actually smiling while typing something like this. I actually seem to be keeping a genuine one up more nowadays. Things get fustrating now and again, but knowing I can pick up myself more without relying on others more and more ...
19. That I woke up, was healthy enough to go to work, and I have a job where the higher ups, from what I can tell, like me. I'm good at my job, despite what I think. And you know, as much as I hate it, and I hate some of the crap that goes down there.... my coworkers, aside from two or three... are decent people. and even then, they're not that bad. Good to see that I haven't lost sight of the good in people after all.
20. Another big thing is that I actually resisted buying those figures on impulse today. I basically told myself if I had to think about it, that it wasn't worth me picking up right now.
I may be feeling good about little things, but hey, progress is progress. The more I work at it, the harder I work at it, the stronger I'll become.
You know what, in an attempt to keep myself more positive and happy, i'm going to post 5 things good about every day. Whether it be personal victories, things that happened that just made me smile, or just good things about the day in general. I'm going to keep this up as long as it takes to get my mood back to where it needs to be. Even then, i'm going to try to keep it up. I'm sick of dragging the world around me with negativity.
1. I passed a new 10 in IIDX. One that I've been trying to clear for awhile, and one I didn't expect to "get". Things just clicked early in the day and it just went.
2. Spending time with my friends, drunk. This is something that happens almost every weekend people come over to visit my friends house, but really, we're usually off doing our own things. Instead, around 2 or 3 am almost everyone was in the same room and we were all drinking and enjoying everyones company. It was a nice feeling compared to the usual.
3. I earned a little extra money tonight because my dad got really sick. It's unfortunate that he got sick and I hate seeing him like that, but it all works out in the end because I know he'll be better.
4. I made someone's night by letting them sing the last song of the night. He's one of our regulars and hasn't been around in a long time and whatever he sings he gets into and everyone has a good time. I told them I was pretty unsure if I'd be able to get to it in time because I had so many people signed up, but I came out ahead of the time I was guessing. Planned on going a little over just to get it in because I knew it'd be a decent song to end the night on anyway. He was so happy he hugged me for it at the end. It felt good to make someone's night.
5. Pulled pork for meals all day and that's never, ever a bad thing.
6. Also I resisted going to Denny's. While the social aspect is nice, it's also nice to feel like "no, I don't have to do this every week." Some nights I'd just rather take it easy, and tonight was one of those.
7. People seem to like my Draven.
1. I passed a new 10 in IIDX. One that I've been trying to clear for awhile, and one I didn't expect to "get". Things just clicked early in the day and it just went.
2. Spending time with my friends, drunk. This is something that happens almost every weekend people come over to visit my friends house, but really, we're usually off doing our own things. Instead, around 2 or 3 am almost everyone was in the same room and we were all drinking and enjoying everyones company. It was a nice feeling compared to the usual.
3. I earned a little extra money tonight because my dad got really sick. It's unfortunate that he got sick and I hate seeing him like that, but it all works out in the end because I know he'll be better.
4. I made someone's night by letting them sing the last song of the night. He's one of our regulars and hasn't been around in a long time and whatever he sings he gets into and everyone has a good time. I told them I was pretty unsure if I'd be able to get to it in time because I had so many people signed up, but I came out ahead of the time I was guessing. Planned on going a little over just to get it in because I knew it'd be a decent song to end the night on anyway. He was so happy he hugged me for it at the end. It felt good to make someone's night.
5. Pulled pork for meals all day and that's never, ever a bad thing.
6. Also I resisted going to Denny's. While the social aspect is nice, it's also nice to feel like "no, I don't have to do this every week." Some nights I'd just rather take it easy, and tonight was one of those.
7. People seem to like my Draven.
You are Red/Blue!
Take The Magic Dual Colour Test - Beta today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Personality Test Generator.
You are both rational and emotional. You value creation and discovery, and feel strongly about what I create. At best, you're innovative and intuitive. At worst, you're scattered and unpredictable.
And no one is surprised.
I really need to stop lacking so much confidence. Doesn't really help some of my friends are either trolls or can be huge douchebags at times and would probably make fun of me for sucking at a lot of the things that I do. My self-esteem is at an all time low and I'm really looking for ways to boost it. I'm hoping apping at mayfield and doing some of that will help, but as always, I'm worried about everything. The streaming helps a little but I'm always afraid i'm boring or people are mocking me. Cause people like me get mocked on the internet all the time. Wouldn't be surprised if some do behind my back. No one here, for sure, but...
I seem to get negativity from every aspect of my life. No one at my job likes their job except the corporate asshats, My grandmother is a boiling pot of it, and just my general outlook on things (which I'm really, really pushing to change) is really lacking as well. Not to mention as I said in the previous entry, some of my RL friends aren't exactly the greatest influences either.
I've been strongly considering signing up for the gym and possibly getting myself on some sort of anxiety medicine. Possibly both. I know medicine only really masks the problem, but if that's what it's gonna take to help combat my own demons, then think of me what you will.
I really need to stop makign so many negative entries. I've gotta get it out somehow, though.
I seem to get negativity from every aspect of my life. No one at my job likes their job except the corporate asshats, My grandmother is a boiling pot of it, and just my general outlook on things (which I'm really, really pushing to change) is really lacking as well. Not to mention as I said in the previous entry, some of my RL friends aren't exactly the greatest influences either.
I've been strongly considering signing up for the gym and possibly getting myself on some sort of anxiety medicine. Possibly both. I know medicine only really masks the problem, but if that's what it's gonna take to help combat my own demons, then think of me what you will.
I really need to stop makign so many negative entries. I've gotta get it out somehow, though.
1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.
2. List (and upload or link from YouTube) 5 songs you love that begin with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.
I WAS CHOSEN FOR S SO HERE WE GO
In no particular order
1. Infected Musrhoom - Shakawkaw
2. TaQ - Stoic
3. ZUN - Solar Sect of Mystic Wisdom ~ Nuclear Fusion
4. Dream Theater - Solitary Shell
5. Smooooooooooch (DJ Command Remix)
2. List (and upload or link from YouTube) 5 songs you love that begin with that letter.
3. Post them to your journal with these instructions.
I WAS CHOSEN FOR S SO HERE WE GO
In no particular order
1. Infected Musrhoom - Shakawkaw
2. TaQ - Stoic
3. ZUN - Solar Sect of Mystic Wisdom ~ Nuclear Fusion
4. Dream Theater - Solitary Shell
5. Smooooooooooch (DJ Command Remix)
the black friday is coming and i dread it more this year than i would any other year.
I will be stuck in the midst of the masses, dealing with crazy people at the height of their fucking insanity. those select few hours on black friday where people turn from normal, even slightly respectful human beings to ravenous, selfish beasts.
however, if this doesn't give me the push i need to get out of retail... nothing will. I already know that's my goal for 2010. Hopefully i'll be able to achieve it.
I will be stuck in the midst of the masses, dealing with crazy people at the height of their fucking insanity. those select few hours on black friday where people turn from normal, even slightly respectful human beings to ravenous, selfish beasts.
however, if this doesn't give me the push i need to get out of retail... nothing will. I already know that's my goal for 2010. Hopefully i'll be able to achieve it.
I think i'm gonna attempt updating this thing every day. It'll probably do me some good.
I hate it when I have dreams that are either awesome or weird as fuck and then when i sit and think about it i can't even remember them.
I hate it when I have dreams that are either awesome or weird as fuck and then when i sit and think about it i can't even remember them.
This is by far one of the most awesome things i've watched ever
Instead of bitching... I really should post about teh things that made me happy today.
1. Finding that Deadpool figure.
2. Running into Dan at CCRI when i made my visit, and spending a good amount of time talking with him.
3. Running into Katie from work in the parking lot.
4. I'm actually following through with my goals for this week. I missed one yesterday so I sent out 2 resumes today.
5. Making it to 27 in Aion and successfully OTing the training grounds instance. Restored my faith in my skills a bit.
6. Actually stepping away from the game when its getting fustrating. I've still gotta work on this, but I'm getting better. and really that's all that matters to me.
7. Not having to work.
1. Finding that Deadpool figure.
2. Running into Dan at CCRI when i made my visit, and spending a good amount of time talking with him.
3. Running into Katie from work in the parking lot.
4. I'm actually following through with my goals for this week. I missed one yesterday so I sent out 2 resumes today.
5. Making it to 27 in Aion and successfully OTing the training grounds instance. Restored my faith in my skills a bit.
6. Actually stepping away from the game when its getting fustrating. I've still gotta work on this, but I'm getting better. and really that's all that matters to me.
7. Not having to work.
man, working as a cashier just further fuels my hatred for people.
I haven't updated in awhile. But AB was awesome despite missing a day
http://www.flickr.com/photos/24930702@N05/ My pics from the weekend. I'll write up a bit more later.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/24930702@N05/ My pics from the weekend. I'll write up a bit more later.
another journal i'll have no clue what to do with but i have the name valcion on so NO ONE CAN IMPERSONATE ME HERE. NOT LIKE THATD EVER HAPPEN BECAUSE I AM AS SILENT AS INCONSPICUOUS AS ANY ROGUE.
ALTHOUGH I TALK IN ALL CAPS A LOT OF THE TIME
ALTHOUGH I TALK IN ALL CAPS A LOT OF THE TIME
.
