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I really need to stop lacking so much confidence. Doesn't really help some of my friends are either trolls or can be huge douchebags at times and would probably make fun of me for sucking at a lot of the things that I do. My self-esteem is at an all time low and I'm really looking for ways to boost it. I'm hoping apping at mayfield and doing some of that will help, but as always, I'm worried about everything. The streaming helps a little but I'm always afraid i'm boring or people are mocking me. Cause people like me get mocked on the internet all the time. Wouldn't be surprised if some do behind my back. No one here, for sure, but...
I seem to get negativity from every aspect of my life. No one at my job likes their job except the corporate asshats, My grandmother is a boiling pot of it, and just my general outlook on things (which I'm really, really pushing to change) is really lacking as well. Not to mention as I said in the previous entry, some of my RL friends aren't exactly the greatest influences either.
I've been strongly considering signing up for the gym and possibly getting myself on some sort of anxiety medicine. Possibly both. I know medicine only really masks the problem, but if that's what it's gonna take to help combat my own demons, then think of me what you will.
I really need to stop makign so many negative entries. I've gotta get it out somehow, though.
I seem to get negativity from every aspect of my life. No one at my job likes their job except the corporate asshats, My grandmother is a boiling pot of it, and just my general outlook on things (which I'm really, really pushing to change) is really lacking as well. Not to mention as I said in the previous entry, some of my RL friends aren't exactly the greatest influences either.
I've been strongly considering signing up for the gym and possibly getting myself on some sort of anxiety medicine. Possibly both. I know medicine only really masks the problem, but if that's what it's gonna take to help combat my own demons, then think of me what you will.
I really need to stop makign so many negative entries. I've gotta get it out somehow, though.